you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm always down for nudity.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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