so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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