pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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