I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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