Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
