Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
