White coat. Heels.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
