I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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