I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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