then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
