She said her name was "party"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
