For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
