I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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