If that was your dad, he is hot
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
