When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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