im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
