She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
