Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
