Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
