i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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