I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
