You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
