Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
