If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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