I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
