Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
