we have pet lesbian snakes
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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