The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
