you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
