I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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