my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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