PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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