HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
