if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so that wasnt chicken after all
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
