don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
