I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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