hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I faked an abortion last night.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
