this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
