Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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