I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
