Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
