I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
