I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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