soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
