remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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