i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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