So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
