She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
