im gay
i know
yea but for you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can I color on your dick again?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
