I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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