I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
